Author’s Note: Quickie little, angsty one shot.
Summary: My blood is like peroxide. [Spoilers for Redrum and Law of Gravity; Catherine/Keppler
Make a move.
I kept thinking that as I watched her speak. Her words so delicate, so sincere.
Make a move, idiot. Just do it already, but no, I can’t. I wouldn’t do that to Amy. I never would. Amy was my life, my soul, my everything.
Make a move.
Catherine is beautiful. She’s the first woman to really break me in a long time. The first woman since Amy to turn my heart to goo.
I wouldn’t do that to Amy, though. She was the love of my life. Funny thing to claim considering our love blossomed during those frightful years of puberty. It’s not like we even knew the meaning of the word. How could we love and not really understand it?
Despite all that, I kept thinking it. Even my devotion to Amy couldn’t keep the thought at bay. Catherine Willows had invaded my senses, made me think of someone other than myself for a change.
Make a move. I thought it while we drank the mistakes of our latest case away.
Make a move. I thought it as I walked her to her car. I thought it as I watched her drive away.
When her taillights became a distant memory, I wondered if she was thinking the same thing. I wondered if she was thinking about coming on to me. I wondered if she thought of kissing me. I wondered if she could see through my thin veil, if she could see my pain. I wondered if she thought of kissing me.
I keep recycling these thoughts, over and over. Wonder and wonder. I should’ve made the move. I still can.
She presses her hands into my chest and I think about wondering. I wonder how long I’ve wondered about her. I can still make the move.
I open my mouth to speak, but breathing is so hard right now. My eyes can barely hold her form. I don’t want to lose her.
“Don’t talk,” she whispers. “Just hold on for me, Mike.”
My blood is like peroxide, bonding with her fair hands and staining her forever with me. It’s pure chemistry, she and I. It’s a shame I could only see this now, in the moment of my death.
I need to tell her something, anything. I can only communicate with my eyes now and I do my damn best to speak to her. Look at me, Catherine.
Her eyes find mine. Good. She understood. Now understand this. Please, just be here when I go. I don’t want to be alone.
She applies more pressure to my wound as if responding to my plea. Then I see her eyes flicker and I no longer have to wonder. She would’ve liked to have kissed me. I would’ve liked to have kissed her. I blink several times, hopefully signaling some kind of urgency. My head shakes. Kiss me. I want to know.
One blink and I feel her lips on my cheek. She doesn’t move away, speaking against my skin. “Hold on, Mike. Don’t go. Not yet.”
Peroxide. Her lipstick has bonded with my paling skin. I’m bleached with her and then the lights get brighter. The air gets thicker. They’re trying to save me. I can tell she’s nearby. She wants to save me. Well, she can try all she wants, but it will do her no good. I already saved myself for someone else. It was Amy.
Now I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have tucked away my heart so soon. Maybe I should’ve given myself the chance to share my heart again, with Catherine.
I shift my eyes and see her, the blond swirl that she has now become. I will always remember her, peroxide. It was pure chemistry, she and I.
My life cycle finishes without her.
- Current Mood: calm