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Fanfic - Peroxide

X-Posted at doubleedog and kepplows

Author’s Note: Quickie little, angsty one shot.

Summary: My blood is like peroxide. [Spoilers for Redrum and Law of Gravity; Catherine/Keppler

Peroxide

by e-dog

 

Make a move.

I kept thinking that as I watched her speak. Her words so delicate, so sincere.

Make a move, idiot. Just do it already, but no, I can’t. I wouldn’t do that to Amy. I never would. Amy was my life, my soul, my everything.

Make a move.

Catherine is beautiful. She’s the first woman to really break me in a long time. The first woman since Amy to turn my heart to goo.

I wouldn’t do that to Amy, though. She was the love of my life. Funny thing to claim considering our love blossomed during those frightful years of puberty. It’s not like we even knew the meaning of the word. How could we love and not really understand it?

Despite all that, I kept thinking it. Even my devotion to Amy couldn’t keep the thought at bay. Catherine Willows had invaded my senses, made me think of someone other than myself for a change.

Make a move. I thought it while we drank the mistakes of our latest case away.

Make a move. I thought it as I walked her to her car. I thought it as I watched her drive away.

When her taillights became a distant memory, I wondered if she was thinking the same thing. I wondered if she was thinking about coming on to me. I wondered if she thought of kissing me. I wondered if she could see through my thin veil, if she could see my pain. I wondered if she thought of kissing me.

I keep recycling these thoughts, over and over. Wonder and wonder. I should’ve made the move. I still can.

She presses her hands into my chest and I think about wondering. I wonder how long I’ve wondered about her. I can still make the move.

I open my mouth to speak, but breathing is so hard right now. My eyes can barely hold her form. I don’t want to lose her.

“Don’t talk,” she whispers. “Just hold on for me, Mike.”

My blood is like peroxide, bonding with her fair hands and staining her forever with me. It’s pure chemistry, she and I. It’s a shame I could only see this now, in the moment of my death.

I need to tell her something, anything. I can only communicate with my eyes now and I do my damn best to speak to her. Look at me, Catherine.

Her eyes find mine. Good. She understood. Now understand this. Please, just be here when I go. I don’t want to be alone.

She applies more pressure to my wound as if responding to my plea. Then I see her eyes flicker and I no longer have to wonder. She would’ve liked to have kissed me. I would’ve liked to have kissed her. I blink several times, hopefully signaling some kind of urgency. My head shakes. Kiss me. I want to know.

One blink and I feel her lips on my cheek. She doesn’t move away, speaking against my skin. “Hold on, Mike. Don’t go. Not yet.”

Peroxide. Her lipstick has bonded with my paling skin. I’m bleached with her and then the lights get brighter. The air gets thicker. They’re trying to save me. I can tell she’s nearby. She wants to save me. Well, she can try all she wants, but it will do her no good. I already saved myself for someone else. It was Amy.

Now I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have tucked away my heart so soon. Maybe I should’ve given myself the chance to share my heart again, with Catherine.

I shift my eyes and see her, the blond swirl that she has now become. I will always remember her, peroxide. It was pure chemistry, she and I.

My life cycle finishes without her.

The End

 

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
inaudiblechaos
Aug. 28th, 2007 02:05 am (UTC)
Ohh wow.. I loved it. I have a thing for one-shots, especially angsty ones. (:

I really like this paragraph here. My blood is like peroxide, bonding with her fair hands and staining her forever with me. It’s pure chemistry, she and I. It’s a shame I could only see this now, in the moment of my death.

That's gorgeous, really powerful. I always think that's the hardest thing about fan fiction. It's like you're building on someone else's foundations, you've borrowed a concept and expanded it and because the foundations are inevitably the strength, it's hard to write something really powerful that's powerful not because of what it stems from but what it branches out to...

God that was a bit deep of me wasn't it..... lol.

Anyway, awesome job. I think it's a great piece of writing. (: x
doubleedog
Aug. 28th, 2007 02:55 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you! I do agree with you about the most difficult aspects of fanfiction. Building on top of an already strong foundation is hard, but it's also rewarding when you are able to expand and make it more. It's a challenge, indeed.

Btw, I like angsty one shots too. *giggles* I like one shots in general, but the angsty ones are like my drug of choice.

Again, glad you enjoyed the fic!

Oh, and just a quick question: Can I post fan art related to Liev and/or Marg or is this strictly just a Cath/Keppler character centric community?
inaudiblechaos
Aug. 28th, 2007 01:00 pm (UTC)
Yeaaah go for it. Sounds great. (:

x
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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